Rest assured everyone, I am still awesome. (staceyu) wrote,
Rest assured everyone, I am still awesome.

after being away from home for so long

you start to idealize the place to a point where you think nothing can go wrong here. home is where friends and family live, home is where all things familiar surround you. should be comforting being here again. but when you come back you gradually realize more and more every day that things are exactly as you left them. the problems, the skewed relationships, the insecurity. all of it still remains.

maybe you think it's time to go somewhere else and start anew, get away from this place again. it's only been a little over a week but already things aren't turning out as you thought they would. no, things aren't that easy just because you left for a year.

but what if you did leave home again? you'd always come back. you can't help it. you need to be here, something (or someone) makes you stay.

then you think yeah, you need to create a routine. that'll make you feel better. work out again, get the blood going, eat healthier. start writing, yeah, you've always been putting that off even though it's your supposed passion. start studying, find a job you deserve. wake up at a decent time in the morning, go to bed before midnight. get back into it, just like everyone else.

you miss the life you used to lead not too long ago, but you know there's no going back. not now, maybe not ever. you wonder how long it'll take to feel a semblance of the comfort you used to feel back then.

which way should you go from here? what do you do now?

you wish you knew...

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